And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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