Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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