I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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