I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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