i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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