I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
