haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
