she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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