We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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