People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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