she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
