i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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