I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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