he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
