I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
