Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
