did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
