I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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