Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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