Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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