So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
