Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
