Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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