My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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