Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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