Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
