You were right. It hurts to walk today.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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