i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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