I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
