North Korea, Best Korea!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
