my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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