Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
