I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all