grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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