So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
try to milk me bitch
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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