Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
