I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
