He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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