please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
