chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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