wat bout pragnant strippers??
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
