yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
