he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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