There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
