NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
