I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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