Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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