I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
