Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
