Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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