If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
