You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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