We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
