you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
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Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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