She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
