I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize