We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
