so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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