i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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