Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
